Wednesday, November 9, 2011

(PART II) Blood May Be Thicker, But We'd Die Without Water...

I don't want to waste my money paying fees.
I don't know what I'm doing. 
I want to save up more money for my Thailand trip in January ( don't want to waste on fees again).
I feel alone.
I hate being the only foreign teacher (STILL) at my school ( even though I love and appreciate my TA's).
This is all new to me. 
I feel like no one really cares or understands ( no one, only really meaning my boss really).

Those are some of the things that I meant to say before, things that I was feeling, that came out as anger in Part 1 of this rant/blog. Reasons for my anger and frustration.

Let me make it clear that people in general here in Foshan, in China have been, for the most part very friendly and curious and helpful to me. I got my "Starbucks Crew"who all know me by name and give me free coffee sometimes. I've got my doorman who calls me "beautiful teacher" and attempts to have ( the smallest of) conversations with me. I've got my kids- like "Happy Hannah"  and "Extremely Bright and Well Behaved Vivian" and adorable Jimmy and my girl Ashley ... who all make me smile and who really want to learn. I've got cute moms......( specifically Jack and Cherry's Mom "Crystal"... .. with her short shorts and her Dior sunglasses and her cute shoes and her smile that seems like she always knows a secret...lol.. that makes ME smile. LOL.) I AM the one who came here not speaking THEIR language ... and the people in general have been very nice and patient. It is not their fault that this city does not have a big expat community. It's not their fault that I don't speak their language. 

What's frustrating is just... business... and my boss. Her husband is a little more quieter and caring and a cool guy in general. But she is like a game of "New Choice" on speed. I think it's because she doesn't know what she's doing. When you don't believe in your decisions, you will "hem and hawww" and ultimately change your mind several times. I know this --- I've done it. I'm sure we all have. 

I've just gotten to the point where I've stopped asking questions - like WHEN will we get a new foreign teacher? WHO will be our new foreign teacher? -- doesn't she realize that I could potentially be leaving here in April and then what?.... they will need at least one new foreign teacher to cover the 4 classes I'm teaching right now AND at least one additional one if they plan on adding and new classes and enrolling new students.  

I tend to rely more on my TA Metis in general here
- to help me with my banking- wire transferring money 
-to help me figure out where/how to pick up my packages at the post office

Maybe my boss expects this- that my TA will be the one I go to. But being that SHE ( my boss) invited ME ( here to China). I thought there would be some sort of friendship or connection established. Not just "business as usual". 

I have ideas -( like most recently I emailed my boss saying that I want to do a Christmas Toy Drive at our school and have the kids/parents of our kids drop off toys in a box here at our school for the Foshan Orphanage) - and I bring them to her and she approves them-- but she does nothing to help me. So I'm thinking for the orphanage I've got to get Metis to help me... with everything. She's good though- so hopefully we can create something AMAZING for those kids at the orphanage in Nanhai ( and collect some really great toys). Probably won't start collecting until the last week of November. Around Thanksgiving. 

It's just been a "live and learn" kind of day. Just PRAY that all goes well tomorrow ( about 7 hrs from now - it's 11pm here now and I'm leaving at 7am tomorrow) and that I can leave China and enter Macau and then leave Macau and re-enter China ... easily. 


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