Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Day By Day

Each day has its own fingerprint with its own unique set of characteristics that sets it apart from any other.

Comparing this day to the "awesome" or "awful" yesterday you had and/or  dreaming of the "better" tomorrow you will have just doesn't make sense.

If each day is designed to be different and special with it's own set of lessons to learn, comparing it is kind of like sitting down to a dinner of steak, potatoes, and broccoli  and saying "this prime rib is the WORST tasting piece of pizza I've EVER had!"

This (above) is the "moment of zen" that I've been reflecting on going into 2012. As cliche as it sounds, each day IS a brand new day and there is always something to learn. Always something to get happy about, get confused about, get mad about. In the moment it may feel like the greatest frustration/despair/happiness/etc... but then that passes and something else, something different, happens.

The combination of confusing text messages, my own fear of time moving too fast, and my own frustrated desires and impatience - got the better of me over Christmas. BUT - I talked it out - with LL - and Helen and Quinny ( two friends of mine here who I was also having frustrations with - in making Christmas/New Year's plans) and I feel a lot better today. I love LL and I'm not going to let my mind completely take the reins and win this one. It's too easy for the brain to get lost in translation. It also has the occasional habit of dancing with its own self-made boogeymen. My heart and my soul are the brains of this operation, the ones to co-pilot and take over this journey. At least, they're trying to.

Even if you can't change the course of a day, you should always attempt to "be yourself" in that day. In that moment. Whatever you are feeling ( and yes, in sharing your feelings, you might look like you took a trip to "crazytown"... but it's better than holding it in and actually taking that trip) it's important just to share it and own it ... so you can release it.

I woke up two mornings ago laughing at myself because.... I woke up in a "straight jacket". You know that "sleeveless coat" that some people in psychiatric hospitals are forced to wear to restrain them? I had subconsciously done that to myself in my sleep. It is still a little cold in my apartment and so I was wearing two light sleep shirts and a zip up hooded sweatshirt jacket to bed. In my sleep I had put my arms through the jacket and also through the two t-shirts so that my arms were folded against my body, against my skin, and it took being fully "awake" and "alert" so that I could figure out some conscious maneuvering around to get my arms free. I think my spirt knew that my mind needed a serious reality check and a minute to slow down and focus on .... something else. Something tangible. Something other than the outrageous stories it was creating for itself.

I am really liking 2012. ( Do you find yourself calling it "Two Thousand Twelve" or "Twenty-Twelve"? I'm finding that I'm a "Twenty-Twelve" kinda girl. I was typically one to say  "Two Thousand .... five, six, ten, etc". up until now. )

I am taking it "day by day". I have booked it and am pretty sure that this year will include a trip to Chiang Mai Thailand ( spending a week playing/feeding/bathing the elephants here http://www.elephantnaturepark.org and then 3 nights in a hotel in the city ), possibly a trip to Taipei, and definitely a trip HOME in April. But other than that? ... it's an open book.

Today in 2012 - I took a bus to Macau and was driven home to China in a Mercedes.

(SO BIZARRE - I completely randomly met up with my boss and then her cousin and her cousin's husband at the Casino that I went to in Macau today. My boss was leaving for a conference in Beijing today and was meeting up with a friend there, to leave together.  Her cousin and her cousin's husband went to play the slots there for the day. They had lost money and were heading home and so they DROVE me home TOO - ( in their big comfy Mercedes...that I took a nice comfy nap in.) back to Foshan. But COMPLETELY random .... when I first arrived in Macau this morning I could have boarded ANY bus waiting outside of the bus terminal, to go to ANY of the 10 DIFFERENT casinos.... and I picked "Galaxy Casino". I was originally looking for "The Venetian" - that I went to last time, but there was no bus or bus attendants for it waiting outside. )

So.... let that show that you never know how a day will end up.
Own what you're feeling in the moment. See the lesson. Release it.

SO much easier said than done I know. But try ....
don't let straight jackets become the fashion statement of 2012.

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